Here's a shocker

I believe the recent decision handed down by the supreme court regarding school desegregation may have been the best thing that could ever have happened to black people. I see many positive ramifications of the new law, and welcome it. Joyfully.

Why Diddy has never "Made" a Band

They're here.....new episodes of "Making the Band"

Now, those of you who watch these shows may have been as puzzled as I am. His Diddyness sends talent scouts out to major metropolitan cities ala "American Idol" and auditions singers for a new band. There have been 3 "bands" so far. None of them successful past the reality series. While the fact that scouts audition potential singers all over America and come up with the lack of talent that they do has always amazed me. There are at least 10 people I can tap in 5 cities that could blow MOST artists out of the water. The weakly talented people that they end up with always shock me.

Anyway....

Without disseminating the definition of the word "Band"...lets just take the name of the show and assume that it means group of singers/dancers. Fine? Fine.

Okay...on todays' episode, the voice coach told a potential band member:

"You need to work on the singing, but your dancing is great. We just need to work on the singing"

Umm...ya don't work on singing. You sing, or you don't. And what Diddy seems not to be able to understand AT ALL is the fact that when I buy an album, I CAN'T SEE CHEST AND LEGS!!!!! I only hear good music or garbage. This is precisely why diddy has never MADE a band.

I think that this "Band" will have a better chance than all others because Puffy has at least one qualified talent scout on panel this year: Michael Bivens. Michael Bivens is responsible for scouting out my favorite group....no need for name dropping...Ya'll already know...

As famous as Boyz II Men are/were, lets be real...They couldn't dance for S...more than that, they were not "commercially attractive" men. I get sooooo tired of "plastic" looking women and "ken" looking men that can dance (if you like the flapping and stuff) but can't sing worth a darn.

Number 11, Michael, got in on the strength of the talent scouts...not Puffy. Puffy hates fat singers. Puffy hates pudgy singers. If Michael was cut, I was shutting the show down on episode 1. He is one of the better singers in the group. That last group of girls he produced were a bunch of plastic, hands across america, non singing but great dancing chicks. I was soooo disgusted when he cut the people he cut.

The only way he got me this season was the fact that he is "making" an all boy band. Though for the record...i must say that the gay male fans of america will be happy to note that they have a partner on front. One of the contestants is definitely gay.

Lets see if his staff can save the talented ones this season.

Observations while people watching

when my mom visited last, we visited the zoo with my little sister.
while walking around observing the animals, i found myself observing people as much if not more than the furry beings. its easy to watch a particular person's habits while at the zoo. you seem to get stuck in the same flow of people....winding in and out of their groups while moving along the paths. little kids always capture my notice and on this day several children were there with their families; grandparents, parents, and siblings. occasionally, i would notice a father with his children.

what i found striking was that some of the fathers talked to their children. one father in particular would engage his son in conversation about the animal they were viewing. patiently answering questions, sparking curiosity with strategic observations, and teaching by giving his son information when he posed questions.

this father starkly contrasted with another father i noticed with his son. he would walk too fast for his son, or too slow... when his son was looking through the windows of a habitat, or the bars, his father would read the placard...sometimes answering question, sometimes not. when his interest waned, he moved on barking "come on" as he left...not angry, just oblivious to the little person that the trip was planned for...the blank slate that was being smudged instead of written on. when his son saw some fascinating new creature ahead and wanted to move on, his father would hold him back if he was still interested in what was in front of him.

i couldn't help thinking that the behaviour of this father with son probably manifested itself in all areas of their relationship. i wondered at the probablilty of each son excelling in school. i wondered whether each son was planned, or if he just came along. i wondered whether each father "Thought" about being a father, or whether they just behaved in ways that were natural to him. perhaps learned from their own fathers.

i'm sure both parents loved their children, but it is easy to know which father i would want for my sons.

Rolling over

I never want to get up in the morning. I want to lounge in bed alllll day long.

Paris Hilton is out again. She looked good walking out. Like she feels good. It always feels so much better to do things the right way. I'm sort of proud of her..she served her time like a grown up...of course she had no choice in the matter, but she could have been an idiot and hired new lawyers to appeal her sentence. I'm still not over them acting like she was being sentenced to the damn gallows....sheesh. Life is so hard for some people in the world. I guess they never took her to poor countries to teach her about life. Of course, her mother didn't seem to have a clue really...I guess you can't get blood from a turnip.



My notebook is looking muccch better, thanks to help from cup. She is a great friend. Her recommendations, plus a little tweaking have me ready for an nih audit!
I finally finished an experiment that will get me published. I hope they accept the paper. I'm starting to really love looking at the structure of the retina. It is really pretty.

Mr. Owl?

I'm taking my little sister to the beach today. She and one of her friends. This is the first trip to the beach this year.


How come I want to go into the lab and try this bright idea I had this morning???
How come the first thing I think about in the morning is centered around some research question and how I can tackle it??? How come I hate studying so fricking much????

How did I burn the boiled eggs I made this morning to put into tonights tuna salad?????

The world may never know.....

I can't believe

It's already midnight. I'm terribly (well not so terribly) sleepy.

My alma mater was placed on probation last week. The better to grow from rattlers! I called my dad today and asked him to please offer his services to them as a consultant. He promised he would.

My cousin gidget sent the engagement photos of a beautiful couple in ATL to me. I wish them all the goodness life has to offer, and the good sense to look to one another and God to handle all the bad. Black love is so beautiful. Of course, love is beautiful...but yeah..I love my people...you should know this by now people!

I'm very much looking forward to my turn...at the real thing anyway.

In the meantime, I'm looking forward to a FAB-a-Lous (fabalous fabalous fabalous sherman!) trip to the carribean.

God is SO good.

the mighty rattlers strike

Against Floyd's. I'm proud of the support they received from the other Universities in T'town. That is highly unusual and a welcome visage.

Pillow Talk

I love Doris Day movies. Not the kind of person to seek them out however, I only watch them when my remote happens to flick past one while its on. That happened this morning before I went into lab...I delayed my departure from the house after getting caught up on the storyline.

A FINEEEEE young man (who I knew must be old as heck at this point) was playing opposite doris, and they were cracking me up with their antics. At some point in the movie, I called my mother, and when she asked me what I was watching, I clicked the info button on my remote to find out myself.

It was pillow talk.
I also learned that the man that I was admiring so much was Rock Hudson, and told her that I knew now why he was such hot shit back in the day. He was fine as hell. She remarked, " and gay, and dead"

I was fricking stunned.
Not about his death...but his gayness.

After I got over the shock, having tossed doubts at her and she tossing facts back at me about his death from AIDs, I acknowledged that I must be light years late on this tidbit of information. She said Yep.

I still had to tell my girlfriends that dude was gay today. I still can't believe he was batting for the other team.

Night...walker..worker

The air was sweet when I left the lab tonight. I left uncharacteristically early....at 11pm. For the past week or more, I've been in there until 3 in the morning, read: mourning.

Just teasing.

I've settled into the habit of going in around noon, and leaving in the wee hours of the morning. I'm able to socialize with my lab-mates, or confer with my professor...then when they leave for the day, I keep myself company with books on tape, or NPR. Sometimes I listen to a favorite CD.

People in the lab next to mine also work late into the night and I'm comforted by their presence...in the same way that I was comforted by the people in my dorm last year.

McCrack

I can not leave these salads alone!!! I find myself wanting them in the middle of the durn day, as i leave school, at night. I eat the fruit..grapes first (if they are firm) then the walnuts and apples together (tastes like candied apple like that) and toss the yogurt (i think they put sugar in it and that is GROSS)

Prophesy

A man once prophesied to me. He was insistent that my life would be a charmed one.

At the time, I was living in a less than charming house, on a less than charming salary, and in tears for reasons I didn't know. He talked about wealth and goodness (good car, good career, good man). I was less than impressed.

He was a pastor in a little storefront church. His words were a bit disconcerting. Still, I can't help reflecting on them from time to time; tonight for example. Don't ask me why, they just pop in sometimes.

I wonder why I can't simply accept that good things can happen, great things can happen. To me.

When is it in life that people become afraid to dream? To believe? To dare to believe? When did the voices around me become louder than my own? More important than my own?

Every positive thought is matched equally and forcefully with a negative one or a more "reasonable" one.

I deserve everything good that life has to offer. I can. I will. These things are true.

The Thing about Malaika XII

I had no clue what the last thing about me would be until just this moment. It is very personal, and not at all in keeping with the basic tone of the series. I hope you don't mind.


I spent the better part of my dreams last night being picked over by the man of my dreams.

He and I walked and talked for hours. He met my family. Stayed at our home. He met some old friends of mine.

Then he asked me who "X" is. Clearly attracted.
The next day, he asked me who "Y" was. Likewise.


It was painful. He was completely oblivious to my interest in him...or perhaps blinded by his own interest in a particular type of woman (they had a unique quality that I lack) to notice the hurt. It seems to happen a lot.

It was really a nightmare.

101. One of my biggest fears/hurts in dealing with men is being "picked over".

The Thing about Malaika XI

I've been stumped. I'm almost there, but I'll be darned if I can come up with any new and spectacular factoids. So,the idea occured to me to call on an old college chum and ask him to fill in for me on this one. You know him as CT and he can be found here and here.

91. She likes to downplay the fact that she has a very good singing voice.

92. She claimed the Colts -- way before they became champs --even though she could care less about the NFL.
93. She's way too smart for me studying all those science classes.

94. She's friends with one of the most coolest people in the world... me.

95. She blogs a lot.

96. *my uncle*

She's related to someone that played for my favorite baseball team.





97. She's from the crappiest state in the Union -- Delaware. *whatever*


98. She is goofy as hell.


99. She won't hit people who are asleep with a laptop.

100. She'll kill me for saying this, but ... nevermind, I like the bond we got.

So, there are 100 things about me....For the record, my brothers always told me that I couldn't sing, and I believed em'. Plus, I reign supreme in the goofdom department...it makes ya laugh!

By now, you probably now know that CT can be somewhat lazy (as per 95.) and a bit swoll about the head (94.) but he is cool people. He is the ONLY person I know without thinking that I would want as a lifeline on Who Wants to be a Millionaire. I catch a lot of flack for our friendship from some folks...but hey, I like the bond we got too.

I'll try to make number 101 (THE MAGIC NUMBER) a doozy.

I'm not a fan anymore

-or a consumer of Hilton's various enterprises. After today, I declare a lifelong ban on their products and services.

I'm absolutely disgusted that this young lady can be allowed to walk free from what appears to me to be a just and equitable sentence. It is clear to me that her repeated actions could have killed people who had no choice in the matter. Paris is not a child. While I can empathize with the fact that she may suffer from some tragic malady, I'm reminded that jails around the country house and treat individuals that suffer from all manner of illness. She could well have been accomodated for 20 days.


What galls me most is the seeming injustice of this system the rest of us are subject to whether deserving or not. It took an indirect order from the Governor of Texas to free Shaquanda Cotton, and it will take an act of God alone to save Genarlow Wilson from the prisons of Georgia. By the time this young man is set to be released, his cohort will have graduated from college. When I hear news reports about them, I hear "that was not a good child", "it was a wild party, he was no boy scout". These children should never have been sentenced to a day, let alone YEARS in prison. I see no difference between their choices and those of Paris. The only difference that is clear to me is that they are not heiresses to hotel fortunes; they are heir and heiress to hope, talent, time, and possibility. I can see no talent, hope or promise in the antics of Paris Hilton. She had no scholarships lined up, no stated goals, no apparent talents. America has twisted values.

What the Paris HIlton case has taught me about the American Justice System is that I can no longer afford to give it the benefit of the doubt. My vote doesn't count and there really are two classes of people in America.

Me and Zombies don't get along

45%Mingle² - Free Online Dating

Black Kids and Black People

I saw a couple of the other black kids at school today. That was pretty cool. We had an interesting discussion about black people in RI. One of them, a guy thinks that black people exist here, but that they are in the closet. Like gay people that are afraid to reveal their orientation. I'm amused.

Anyhow, it was nice to catch up on the goings on and touch base with a couple of people I consider friends.

*****
A mouse in the hand of a researcher.
Not mine....Its a cutie huh?





I killed my first baby rat today. I needed to make an extract from a rats brain, and well, baby rat brain is easier to get to than an adults. It was absolutely adorable. Not even weaned yet. I held it more than once before I put him in the gas chamber and stroked his/her little head. I even caressed the thing after it died. It looked as if it were sleeping. Then, with the mindset of a woman on a budget, I thought

"It would be a waste to leave its eyes in and just take the brain"

So I took out it's eyes and then proceeded to dissect out my first rat cerebellum.

I wonder at my ability to smite these creatures with absolutely no regrets.

Hell hath frozen over...

After reading the news reports regarding the positions of ALL of the Democratic hopefuls for president today, I made a groundbreaking decision.

I'm voting Republican for president.

It's either that or not vote at all.

I am not NOT voting again.

I was shocked that NOT ONE of the candidates that I'd whittled my choice down to would be willing to represent my views on the immigration bill. And, only Gavel (someone I don't know who the hell is) shares my belief about a national language.

The question that I ask myself at this point however is:

Is a republican worth the trouble Iraq is causing?

I have to say yes...simply because I have to live here. Of course....all republicans are liars.

Herbie Hancock

Is coming to Boston. I can't wait!!!

Week in Review

My mom came to visit. My mother has NEVER come to visit me before, so you can imagine I was quite happy. I think her health is good, but when she arrived, I questioned my stubborn insistence that she take medication for her ills. After one day of observation, I decided to do extensive research on the drug she was taking. I found that some of the sub-side effects (my name for those side effects that are alternate manifestations of a listed side effect) were affecting her behaviour. I couldn't take it (plus one of the side effects of the drug was pretty scary to me) and told her to come off of them. I recommended that she go back to her M.D. and ask for a new drug. One without the "scary" side effect listed. In the meantime, she seems really good. The drugs seem to have benefitted her overall, so I feel only slightly guilty.

We went to see one of my heroines this week. The venerable Dr. Maya Angelou came to town. It was my second opportunity to hear her, and I felt even more lucky to hear her this time.

She gave a synopsis of her life really....the first time I heard her speak was at my undergraduate institution. There she gave a motivational, empowering speech without the review of her history. I waited as she talked for her to say something that was valuable to me- something that I could utilize to improve myself right now. And, naturally, it came.

At one point, while illuminating the strength of the human spirit, she said:

Someone was called out of their name before you
Someone was overlooked before you
Someone was maligned before you
Someone was mistreated before you

That resonated with me because of Kyle, and the whole lab bruhaha. I've held a grudge against that child for calling me a Bitch (5 times...YES I counted). I haven't appreciated a lot of what I perceive to be his views toward me and my people overall, and I act a little less courteous at times because of it. I realized when hearing her say that first sentence that she was as right as the creation of light when time began. Having an elder place the things in the broad perspective of truth humbled me into realizing that I could handle it...not only handle it, but to rise above it.

I applied the same brush to someone in my orbit who doesn't seem to think much of me. It was put that simply to me by two other people (one, my professor). It didn't bother me so much until Thursday. On Thursday, I heard the snickering and felt the apparent shun. It hurt...until I heard her say the rest of that.... I thought about my grandparents, and how hard they had to work to EAT. I thought about the gentleman that apparently "doesn't like me" and put him and his whole mindset in perspective against the backdrop of my reality.

I didn't come here to have him like me.

That was never my goal. Frankly, I didn't know he existed before I arrived. So what if a spoiled, cocky, negative, selfish STUDENT doesn't like me?? SO WHAT???? What do I have to gain by having him like me? Nothing. He can't advance my career. He can't do my work, he can't learn for me, and he doesn't pay me.

After her speech and after watching a Christmas special today : ). I realised that I need to find a church home here. When I attend church regularly, I strive for that higher standard daily. I'm motivated to be better about my walk and talk. I am more centered and at peace. Things that people say in the hallway don't affect me as readily-if at all. I remember who holds my time and where my focus should lie.

Oh, and I haven't even considered the possibility of moving. That idea was all the rage when I was in that whole " I need a man" phase last year. I guess, after I settled down and enveloped myself in the realization that I am living my dreams....I cast all thoughts of moving to be around folk aside.

I love my life here now.

I remember undergrad...and how yes, I did see Maya Angelou speak at my school, and yes I did hear the Winans (That was AWESOME) come and sing at my school, and yes, I even got to see a famous black trumpeteer, but those were pretty much the highlights of many years in that city.

Here, I'm able to hear some of the greatest minds black and white and other sing, and speak, and teach. I'm able to see them dance and play. It is a phenomenal place to be. I don't even much wanna move no mo'. I mean REALLY! How many people can say that in a three month time span, they can hear Brian Mcknight and Joe live, hear Maya Angelou live, and hear Aretha Franklin live, and have a Nobel laureate speak at their school...all the while working with a man who has made one of the biggest scientific discoveries of the century. Nah, I'm good.

I'll let a man find me.

Oh and by the way...I never saw so many black people congregated in one place in RI as I did at the Brian Mcknight concert....there was a slight smattering of them at the Maya Angelou event. Hmmm.