Wednesday, February 26, 2014


I am going on an interview in a week. Hope I get an offer. It's a prestigious post. I'm past the point of thinking I'm not worthy. Well, not really....I renew my mind daily, telling myself that I am worthy.

People talk about forgiveness as if it is freeing. Currently, I find it to be hard work.

I still wake up with an unimaginable anger in my heart. In my minds eye, I envision myself searing people and great fields of wheat with intense flames at will. ala firestarter. I spend at least an hour talking myself into a more normal world view....I'm cynical. I work at just getting to the point where I'm focused on advancing my career. And then I'm no longer angry.

Forgiveness is something that I do everyday. I wake up and choose to let go over and over and over.

I think that I messed up when i spoke of the different things that went on with me inside the lab to my professor. I think I came across as a whiner and complainer. I should never speak up when bad things happen. It only makes things worse.

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Champagne wishes and caviar dreams

I've been bookmarking fantastic things since two this morning. Beautiful dresses, top of the line concierge services, wonderful travel opportunities. You'd think I'd won the lottery. I hope I do!!