I just thought I would update to say that me and this girl are BFFs. I know this is an out of the blue post (any post would be out of the blue at the moment..what I mean to say is out of sync with the current timeline of events), but it is still relevant to me, something I've been meaning to update. And when I considered what I'd write before DEAR BLOGGY died I thought about this.
The tables (KARMA) turned the following year...this past May actually...at the same conference.
When my lab mates started making reservations, they asked if I wanted to room with them. I checked out the hotels they were looking at and being an expert on judging the quality of an abode via the Internet, I was mortified. I couldn't put my body in one of those places barring unemployment, hitting rock bottom (and I'd still prefer my car) or resigning the rest of my life to gutter. I kid you not. The hotel had made for TV magic all over it.
Most importantly, I learn from my mistakes, and the memory of last year was strong in my mind.
I refused to say anything about it still though. And, forgetting that experience in the spirit of remaining positive and happy and looking forward...I embraced my new mantra: wholeheartedly enjoying life to the fullest whenever possible, and booked a suite at a resort hotel in the area. I was the only one that was staying there, and it would cost a month and a half of salary. It was an extravagance I justified by saying that I haven't had a true vacation since I went to the DR my 1st year.
Day two of the conference, the girl called me and asked to come by my room. I allowed the exchange and we had brunch in the lobby diner. She asked me whether she could move in with me. As I had a sofa bed and an additional bathroom and closet, I said yes. Apparently after arriving at their hotel, the group realized that I had been right when I cautioned against staying there. While the men in the lab decided that she was wrong for suggesting such a horrible place, she decided to act and get out...the roaches were coming for her and she didn't like it.
This happening sort of squared us in a way. I remembered how bad I felt the prior year, but was able to forgive. Forgiveness to me is being wronged, and though revenge may be justified, deciding that one will not act on it. Its letting go.
I was proud of myself for letting go in that instance. And that made the inevitable irritation having another body in my personal space tolerable. I'm so crotchety :)
I see her as crazy still...close minded about some racial matters still....but doable. From that conference to the time she left in the early fall, we bonded in a way that superseded the professional. She has since left the states, but whenever she is stateside, we talk. She has introduced me to many people from the European retinal field. I'm sure we will know one another forever because of our science. That feeling is so strong that its undeniable. I'm glad that I met her. And I think that our personalities (STRONG) made a friendship possible, even though they make fighting an inevitable part of the friendship. :)
